People often ask me… “Are you happy all the time?”
It’s a kind of a awkward question.
I’m often on stage or at corporate events and I look so highly energized and I’m so enthusiastic about what I’m saying.
So they ask me: “Are you happy all the time?”
And you know, of course not! Of course not. I’ve got a miserable life at times. I’ve got sicknesses and relationship problems and sometimes financial worry. You know, all the stuff that everybody has. Now fortunately I live in a really good part of the world and most of my issues are first world problems. But, I can still be pretty miserable even about first world problems. So this postis all about how we manage and how we have a perspective on ordinary friggin life- that’s not always perfect.
So we all want to feel happy right? That’s just instinctive.
One researcher said happiness is the ultimate currency. The way that we want to fluidly go through life is with a steady stream of warm and happy emotions. Wouldn’t that be fabulous? Of course we all want it, but suffering is necessary. Suffering is a reality and you know it’s necessary because an easy and comfortable life has nothing to teach or offer the world of value. There has to be something in our lives that causes us to get a stir of the negative emotions that spur us into action and then causes us to learn. And even if that weren’t trueif we didn’t need suffering to live better lives, the fact of the matter is that suffering is real.
So long as we’re in this human body and this human existence, out in this world there will be pain and pleasure. There’ll be gain and loss. There’ll be times when people appreciate us and other times when people criticize us. Ultimately there will be both birth and death! Sh*t happens! No matter how much you learn about happiness you’re still gonna get suffering in your life. So what I do when I’m working with one-on-one coaching clients or even if I get the question in public setting- is I talk about a more realistic goal. The goal is not some destination- some place we’re gonna land. That we say “Oh I’ve arrived at happy!” And now I’m happy! Now that I’m here here I’m just gonna set up my tent and I’m gonna stay here in this destination called happy. Life will be great from now on. Sorry that’s not going to happen.
Rather than a destination called happy can we instead see ourselves on a journey towards happier, because that’s realistic. And if you measure that journey towards happier in a realistic timeframe, weeks, months, years, and you can see yourself steadily progressing towards that intended destination of happier then you in fact will have a happier life along the way. And that allows for the the crappy stuff to come along. It allows for the pain and the suffering and the bad days and the criticism and the relationship difficulties and all that stuff and still be able to say “I’m moving towards a destination of a happier life.” And I’ll tell you if you’re fully awakened enlightened being that’s got bliss all the time, well you don’t need these blog posts. Youu should be here making them instead!
But if you’re a regular folk like me, then your goal needs to be towards happier. I hope that makes sense.
I’m your happiness expert, Paul Krismer.